Anxiety and Decision Making

Copyright 2016 by Shea Oakley

All rights reserved

In the earlier years of my faith I often struggled with whether my decision making was in line with the will of God. As you might expect this was especially true with the bigger choices in life. While I was not too concerned about choosing what color socks to wear in the morning I was very concerned about my vocational life, who I might marry, what to do with my financial resources, etc. In the case of these kinds of “life-changing” decisions I felt that I must have “a peace about” it before taking any action. By that I mean that I had to sense God’s approval in some kind of warm, fuzzy (and nebulous) feeling-state before I would choose that course. If, after praying about a big choice, I had this kind of “peace” then it must be the seal of divine approval on my action. If I did not have it or, worse, had a sense of anxiety about what I was considering I assumed that the Lord was using the anxiety to warn me off of a bad decision.

I suspect that to many, if not most, biblical Christian readers this sounds like an eminently reasonable way to operate. After all, true peace comes from God and anxiety, on the other hand, is not supposed to be of Him. If you feel anxious about doing something then simply do not do it; in fact if you do not feel right about it the reason is probably that the thing in question is either innately sinful or, at least, sinful for you. It seems very cut and dry, this way of making big choices in life. In fact it seems like spiritual common sense.

The difficulty comes when the person doing the decision making has a problem with chronic anxiety that is not necessarily related to the problem at hand.

Some people are afflicted by anxiety no matter what they do or do not do. Theologians might ascribe this tendency to spiritual immaturity and/or lack of faith. Psychologists would more likely call it a disorder brought on by early life experience, or a chemical imbalance, or both. I will not pass judgment here on any of these viewpoints. I suspect they all contain aspects of truth.

In any case chronic anxiety is very real in the lives of many believers and it often manifests itself most strongly in circumstances that require decision making. Perhaps you have met fellow Christians who are seemingly forever looking for a clear sign from Heaven before doing anything of importance in life. It may be that they operate this way because of an obedient spirit that wants God’s will done before their own but, frankly, I suspect more often the reason has to do with an anxious spirit. Such a spirit can be almost paralyzing to those whom are most subject to it. If you tend to be nervous to an extreme potentially every decision you make is problematic. This is only exacerbated by the common teaching that God cares about every decision made (maybe even the one about what color socks you are wearing.)

So, you might be asking, how are such benighted souls ever going to make important choices in their lives? I believe there are two solutions to the problem:

1. The true source of the chronic anxiety must be identified and dealt with.
2. A conscious choice must be made to sometimes disregard feelings in making a decision and trust that God speaks more to us through scripture and the “many counselors” He puts in our lives.

The first solution usually involves either pastoral or clinical counseling; more often the latter. We most often need help identifying where generalized anxiety is coming from. We can then know if it is something that requires repentance, healing, or some combination of the two. In fact sometimes anxiety begins to dissipate as soon as we realize what is truly behind it. (That said it is not unusual for the process of overcoming anxiety to take a long time and we should not necessarily feel badly if it does not yield in a single “ah hah” moment.)

The second answer to the problem is to choose to use the general principles of the Bible in combination with sharing our decision-making challenges with trustworthy, mature, Christians we know. The Bible obviously helps us to avoid innately sinful decisions. It also helps us to see how the great men and women of God in its pages made their own decisions; sometimes without supernatural signs I might add. As for our trusted Christian friends scripture tells us that “there is safety in much counsel.” If most of our believing friends think, for instance, that the person we are dating is a good potential spouse might it just be possible that God is influencing them to tell us so? (This is especially true, by the way, if those friends have prayed for wisdom in sharing their thoughts on the matter at hand.)

I can tell you that I have found both these approaches to work in my own pilgrimage. I spent many years allowing my anxiety about making the perfect choice to rob me of both my joy and of what likely would have been good things I could have possessed earlier in my life. Perhaps the greater regret for me has not been making wrong choices as much as it has been allowing anxiety to keep me from making some of those choices for so long a time. The great lesson for me has been to learn that anxiety, in and of itself, is not necessarily something to which I should listen.