Of Contacts and Contracts: Just What Does it Mean to be “Unequally Yoked”?

It seems difficult for some of us to determine just how to apply the Bible’s warnings about being “unequally yoked” with non-believers. What exactly does the term mean and what sorts of human relationships does it apply to?

In the context of farming, particularly pre-industrial farming, unequally yoked oxen would result in crookedly dug furrows during the preparation of arable land. This happened when the larger, stronger animal would pull ahead of the smaller weaker one, causing both the beasts of burden and their plow to go off the straight and narrow path the farmer desired them to tread.

Using this metaphor we can posit that when two people who are spiritually divergent from each other are closely linked together the result will be similar to that of the differently sized-Oxen. A straight path cannot be easily maintained by the Christian in such a circumstance, in this case the “straight and narrow path” of an authentic life of discipleship.

The confusion for the average believer often comes in the form of pondering other biblical verses which indicate that, while we are not of the world, we must live in the world and that means some degree of interaction with non-believers. For example, generally speaking, we must work with those who often do not espouse our creed. We must also relate to family members who do not espouse it either. So unless we are called to be monks (if such a calling even exists) we must expect to continue to be in relationships with those still living in darkness.

The question lies in just how “bonded” such relationships should be. For instance there is a difference between working for a non-Christian and being in a business partnership with one. The employee is usually less responsible for ethical infractions by his boss than by his partner. The very nature of partnership makes both partners responsible for joint decisions. A worker has far less influence than a partner.

The most frequently mentioned human relationship that the “unequally yoked” verse applies to is marriage. It would seem self-evident that two people who do not share the most important thing in life, a saving relationship with God, are not going to do well together as husband and wife. However, even here, some Christians are unmoved enough by the scriptural warning to at least date non-believers. So called “missionary dating” is the term used to describe such liaisons. Unfortunately, more often then not, the Christian in the dating relationship gives up his or her moral standards rather than successfully “converting” the other person.

When asked about the appropriate depth of relational bonds between Christians and non-Christians a pastor friend of mine recently told me that we are best “in contact, but not in contract”. I took this to mean that casual friendships are one thing whereas business partnerships and romantic relationships are quite another. I think there is much wisdom in his words. Let us by all means stay in contact with those around us who need to be exposed to the Gospel in our words and deeds. But let our contracts be reserved for those within the household of faith.