“Strangely Dim”

I have recently found myself very grateful for something or, more accurately, for Someone Who is finally becoming larger than my daily fears, bigger than my most personally daunting responsibilities. Lately I have been able to truly focus on God, and the things of God, in a way in which, somehow, that which so often looms darkly in my “circumstantial life” becomes muted. Could this finally be what it means to enter “the shadow of His wings”, to be brought to a place where that which seems so overwhelming at times fades blessedly away, at least for a needed respite? While I’m not sure exactly what transpires at such moments when they happen I am that much freer as a child of God.

Though it is explicitly biblical, today it can seem almost a spiritual cliché to encourage people to “seek ye first the Kingdom of God.” We are promised that in doing so all other things in our lives that are truly needful will be taken care of by the One Whose kingdom we seek. But what exactly does that mean? What does it look like to have a heart, mind, soul and spirit truly looking to God first and foremost. I cannot give an answer for the totality of this way of living simply because I am very far from achieving it for myself. But I have found that there is a way to meditate on the Divine that is beginning to fulfill this promise in my own life, at least in the sense of the “other things” being put in their proper perspective.

I am leery of formulas and so I hesitate to share the exact details of my devotional exercises. I assume that different approaches work for different people. That said I will state that a combination of music, visual splendor and the written word most effectively serve this purpose for me. It is my habit to make Sundays a Sabbath day. I try not to be legalistic about it but this day of the week is, for me, a time to avoid work, commerce, and media that isn’t specifically Christian in nature. It is also a time to lie on my couch, look out my living room window at the “direct creation” that is nature, put a requiem on my stereo and read something that is fairly deep spiritually (most recently this has been The Knowledge of the Holy by A.W. Tozer.) I also journal during this time. As for how long a period it is, my Sunday afternoon devotional usually lasts for about an hour and twenty minutes, the time it takes to listen to the entire CD of sacred music.

During this period of meditation on God and His attributes I often sense the world, as the old Hymn Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus puts it, growing “strangely dim”. By this I do not mean the physical world, but the world of my earthly concerns, the things that cause me anxiety and all too much of the time make me at least consciously forget my Maker.

I should tell you that it has taken me years to get to the point where I could even concentrate on spiritual reality for this long a duration. The modern world does not lend itself to the kind of focused meditation I suppose those in cloistered communities have enjoyed through the centuries. Certainly my life doesn’t and I do not even bear some of the responsibilities that my friends do. However as long as it has taken me to get to this point in my Christian life I cannot adequately express how important it has been to me for it to happen.

Another cliché that gets bandied about in the evangelical world is “too busy not to pray”. As with most clichés it contains a kernel of truth that cannot be denied. Some who read this will blanch at the idea of a day given over to the things of God. Others will find it difficult to imagine concentrating on anything for 80 minutes. Trust me when I say I empathize. Also let me state that some Sabbaths are more uninterrupted and spiritually productive for me than others. But the fact remains that my life in Christ cannot prosper unless I put significant time aside to seek Him and I think this is true of all of us. We all desperately need the world to grow strangely dim, for His light to wax strong in our vision and for this to happen more and more often.

Otherwise, at best, we miss out on the abundant life in our Lord that we could all be living and at worst we may lose sight of Him altogether.