Copyright 2014 by Shea Oakley
\nAll rights reserved<\/p>\n
We live in the era of the term \u201ccoping mechanism.\u201d By this we mean the thoughts and behaviors that we have adopted to deal with the struggles and pressures of life. Such mechanisms often began to be formed within us at an early age, perhaps during childhood, adolescence or young adulthood. Once a part of our lives they may remain with us for a long while. Sometimes our coping mechanisms are with us to the day we die. This is unfortunate because they are often emotionally or physically harmful to both ourselves and those who are nearest and dearest to us. As such it might be said that they are almost always part of an understandable, but destructive, way in which we respond badly to real pain. As Christians hopefully we also come to realize that coping and healing are two very different responses to that pain because one is man-centered and the other God centered.<\/p>\n
A coping mechanism may be a seemingly innocuous \u201cnervous habit\u201d such as nail biting. At the other extreme it might reveal itself in a full blown addiction to something like alcohol. Another manifestation is found in various forms of psychopathology. For instance people who struggle with obsessive-compulsive disorders often began to exhibit symptoms at a time of great stress in early life. Truthfully there are quite a wide range of unhealthy human behaviors that come about because of initial mishandling of our responses to abuse of one kind or another.<\/p>\n
For many years coping mechanisms may seem to be an effective way of dealing with early trauma and\/or abuse. It is only when they begin to interfere with our lives more than did the original cause that we may realize that we have \u201ccreated a monster.\u201d By that time, often in later adulthood, our coping mechanisms can have become so entrenched in our personality that ridding ourselves of them may seem impossible.<\/p>\n
For the believer, however, this need never be the case. The power of Christ working in us is more than able to remove old and destructive ways of coping. Many times God allows us to come to a place of despair in which we realize at a deep level that our unconscious ways of dealing with past hurts are damaging us and those close to us. Sometimes a major life crisis like the loss of a major relationship or a job is enough to cause us to cry out to God for deliverance from coping mechanisms that now threaten to destroy us.<\/p>\n
It is at this point that we can be introduced to His prescription for finally dealing with our past. This often involves asking the Spirit\u00a0to help us face and work through memories of what we have lost\u00a0by entering into\u00a0 a time of conscious grieving. In the midst of such grieving we may come to understand that we desperately need to forgive those who wronged us so many years before. In grieving memories, and forgiving those who caused us harm, the child of God will begin to heal. Part of this healing is the shedding of destructive coping mechanisms no longer needed to deal with issues in life that are being resolved God\u2019s way. Real healing of our hearts and minds makes coping mechanisms unnecessary.<\/p>\n
As with almost every aspect of our sanctification the replacement of coping with healing is often a process that takes some time, but its results are entirely worth it. Coping mechanisms are ultimately a form of bondage. Healing brings true freedom and new life. It also greatly pleases the God who sent His Son to die to secure us that healing and life, not only for our time on this world but for all eternity.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Copyright 2014 by Shea Oakley All rights reserved We live in the era of the term \u201ccoping mechanism.\u201d By this we mean the thoughts and behaviors that we have adopted to deal with the struggles and pressures of life. Such mechanisms often began to be formed within us at an early age, perhaps during childhood,… <\/p>\n