Copyright by Shea Oakley
All rights reserved
We cannot manipulate God. This might seem like an obvious truth in a meditation written for those who have come to know Him. “Of course God cannot be manipulated, He’s God!” you might declare. But as in so many aspects of the Christian life what we believe intellectually may not have yet taken root in our hearts. It is one thing to affirm this truth in our mind, another to accept it in our souls to the point where we no longer try to maneuver Him into giving us what we want.
Human beings can be masters of manipulation. Whether we do it consciously or unconsciously some of us have learned how to subtly tip the scales in our favor when we deeply desire something from someone. This tendency towards manipulation is so ingrained in our fallen race that it first manifests itself in our childhood. Children often play one parent off against the other. When dealing with one or both parents they learn to use every emotional trick in the book to get what they want. As a little boy I can remember using a very effective method to get two toys when my father offered to buy me one. I would simply feign an inability to decide which of two playthings I really wanted. I’d stand there in the store and look innocently bewildered. “Which one should I get, daddy? I don’t know which one I like better!” Invariably my father (who, by his own admission, could be an “easy mark” at times) would be melted by my innocent look of confusion and end up buying both for me. Mission accomplished!
As we grow up our skill at manipulation can become well-honed. It is often rationalized or shunted into our unconscious because we do not like to think of ourselves as being devious. The unfortunate truth is that the vast majority of us can be just that, although this character flaw varies in scope from individual to individual. When it is not easy, or socially acceptable, to get something we very much want; manipulating other people becomes an attractive option in our flesh. That such an action is dishonest, self-serving and possibly destructive to the one being “maneuvered” doesn’t matter; as long as we get the object of our desire.
Quite often this tactic is destructive to us as well. Many times the thing we want to possess at the cost of our integrity is something that will only harm us in the end. Perhaps that is why a roadblock in the form of “no” was put in our path by the other person, or persons, to begin with.
Nowhere is this truer than in areas marked either temporarily or permanently off-limits by our Lord Himself. God knows exactly what will happen to His children if they gain something dangerous that they “must have”. This is why some things elude us when they are things only His intervention can grant. Our response to the divine “no” is often to get angry and pout. Some of us will then try to cajole God into relenting, as if an all-knowing and all-powerful God ever could be moved by such human manipulations, no matter how subtle or effective they might be with other people in our lives.
That our heavenly Father is thus unmoved is actually a very good thing for those of us who tend to be manipulators. What we desperately need is someone who will not give in to our devious machinations, Someone who knows what is truly best for us and will not be tricked into giving us something that might very well be poison to our souls. We also need to be delivered from our desire to be captains of our own destinies. Manipulation is a form of controlling behavior and the only One who should ultimately be in control of our lives, or the lives of others we come in contact with, is the Holy Spirit. The spirit of manipulation is one more aspect of our flesh that must be crucified with Christ; for His glory and our good.