Copyright by Shea Oakley
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One of the more profound paradoxes of the Faith is the reality that while everything good within us is ultimately from God and God alone, the gifts we exercise in His service also belong to us. A personal example of this reality comes to me when I pray to the Lord for help in writing one of these meditations. I ask him to both “write through me” and to “write with me”. I trust Him to use the writing gift He has given me by directly providing the words I type on my computer. In that sense I function as a conduit, I hope, of the Holy Spirit. At the same time I feel I am using my own thoughts rendered in my own style for His glory and the edification of my readers. In this aspect of my writing I sense that I am more a partner with God, albeit a very junior one, than “just” a vessel.
Many apologists for Christianity have stressed that believers are neither robots nor puppets of the Being in whom they have put their faith and to whom they are in the process of surrendering our lives. Yet there does seem to be an aspect of our relationship with God in Christ that involves a realization that He is the one empowering and directing every aspect of our existence. Jesus tells us that “apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5) and that the practical examples of this truth range from our being enabled to take each breath which keeps us physically alive to using the highest functions of our intellect. We are on some level passive conduits and empty vessels though which His divine will is executed. Knowing and accepting this aspect of my existence as a Christian is what leads me to pray “write through me”. It is a prayer that is all about Him
At the same time, I cannot help but sense that what God has given me in the way of creative gifts is, paradoxically, also truly “mine”. There is a co-operative dynamic that is present and at work in my life and ministry. When I write my best material I believe that it is somehow my words as well as His. He “writes with me”. In some sense we write together. I have no illusions as to where the ultimate inspiration is coming from, it certainly isn’t coming from me, but I still feel at times that I am less a conduit than a “co-creator” of the article in question and the Creator is pleased to let me “co-create” with Him.
To some these assertions might appear more contradictory than paradoxical. I cannot completely explain to you why it strikes me as being the latter rather than the former. I simply believe that these two phenomena are happening not only simultaneously but also in some mysterious harmony with one another. Because it seems to me that what is truly contradictory cannot co-exist in such a fashion I can only maintain that this is a form of divine paradox.
If it is it is only one of many at the heart of our unique faith.