Copyright 2015 by Shea Oakley
All rights reserved
We need not fear those who are in conflict with us without good cause. Many of us are afraid of interpersonal conflict and do whatever we can to avoid it. Sometimes it can be avoided and when that is true we are wise to do so. At other times a clash of human wills is inevitable.
When it is impossible to steer clear of such a clash anxiety and unease about it can become just as debilitating as the thing itself; especially if our antagonist is not a believer and perhaps more apt to fight viciously. In fact the way we feel prior to “the battle being joined” may actually cause us more harm than the battle. What is sad about this reality in the lives of many believers is that it reveals an immaturity and ineffectiveness in the quality of our faith in God. How can we develop that faith to find courage in the face of conflict?
The most important thing to remember is that our Lord is infinitely more powerful than any human adversary. If we are holding, as best we can, to a fair and righteous position in an appropriately humble spirit He will go before us into the fight. He will also be with us in the midst of it, working on our behalf to bring about a satisfactory resolution. The reality is that we cannot be really harmed, in the truest sense of the word, if we have a divine Ally. The conflict at hand may be painful but it can never be fatal to our souls. Truly knowing this reality is one antidote to the unnecessary dread we may be feeling.
In the light of this truth it is vital that we be in contact with that Ally preparatory to an expected argument. Prayer is the key to both reducing fear and becoming ready to act in a Godly way if and when conflict becomes inevitable. Jesus taught us to lay our burdens upon Him. This cannot happen without talking to Him about those burdens. We must then give them over in continuing conscious prayer. We need to either literally or figuratively be on our knees whenever we see an interpersonal battle on the horizon.
Part of that prayer needs to include something else we are commanded to do in scripture: asking for God to ultimately bless our enemy of the moment. To achieve this it is always helpful to remember that the person who we are at odds with is not the real enemy in spiritual reality. Our true foes are the powers and principalities behind them (this is particularly true if the person does not share our faith.) Angry people often are playing into the Enemies hands without the slightest awareness that they are being manipulated. Remember also that their susceptibility to such manipulation might be caused by emotional damage they have sustained in life. This should be kept in mind when spiritually preparing for a potential quarrel. Sincere and fervent prayer can disarm the malevolent spirits influencing the person in question and give us the victory in a conflict. Hopefully those same prayers will also minimize any damage that might be done to our human adversary in the heat of verbal battle.
As Christians, we must approach any human disharmony with awareness that the problem is largely spiritual and has largely spiritual answers. In learning to trust in God’s power, praying for a just outcome, and petitioning our Lord on behalf of our, hopefully temporary, human enemies we will find release from unnecessary fear. Conflicts are an unavoidable part of living in a fallen world with fallen people (as we ourselves once were and, in some ways, still are.) What is avoidable, with God’s help, is dreading those conflicts once they are unavoidably upon us.