Copyright by Shea Oakley
All rights reserved
Repenting from sin involves suffering. It does not profit us to think that such repentance is going to be easy or not involve a sense of loss. Sin is using the wrong thing, or the right thing at the wrong time, to satisfy a real need. The abuse of money or power is wicked but it speaks of our legitimate need for security. Sex outside of marriage is evil, but it addresses our legitimate hunger for intimacy. When we have come to rely on some transgression to meet a very real, deep need in us our turning from that transgression is hard, sometimes very hard.
Christians have been known to take each other to task for some habitual sin with very little thought about the challenge involved in giving it up. We do each other a huge disservice when we say to “just repent”. It is not that the need for repentance is unimportant. On the contrary true repentance is vital if we hope to be in right relationship with God. Ongoing repentance is not an option in the Christian life; it is an absolute necessity. That said it is not often something that comes quickly and painlessly to the child of God.
Let’s take the example of illicit sex. When someone is having their relational needs met by engaging in sexual activity with a romantic partner then they will feel real loss if they stop that activity. It will feel like a death, especially if the result is the end of the relationship. Once the physical and emotional bond that results from sex is broken so is the person’s heart. This is, of course, one of the reasons God tells us to refrain from such activity in the first place. Without the commitment of a permanent marital union the danger is far higher that a romantic relationship will self-destruct and God never intended us to break the “one-flesh” union once it has been entered into. He knew what kind of pain and damage that would cause and so he commanded us to keep our sexual expression exclusive to heterosexual marriage.
That said it is cruel to tell someone caught up in fornication that repenting of it is going to be anything but a heartache. A real bond exists between the involved parties and it has brought a felt benefit to both, not only in the sense of mutual physical gratification but perhaps more importantly as a comforting, if temporary, answer to loneliness. Eventually the sinful aspect of such a relationship between Christians will destroy both benefits, but try telling that to two lonely people that feel fulfilled for the first time in years.
Other sins can also temporarily provide a felt answer to a real hole in our lives. When we decide to value God’s approval and blessing over that answer we must trust that He will provide a truly good and enduring replacement. But that replacement is sometimes long in coming, at least in our own eyes. In the meantime we will feel the pain of real loss when we forsake whatever is the besetting sin is. We must be prepared for that pain and count it as worth it in the long run. Real repentance carries a price. It is one worth paying but it is a price nonetheless and we do ourselves no favor pretending that the cost involved will not feel quite high.