Copyright 2014 by Shea Oakley
All rights reserved
There is much we want in life that it was never God’s intention to give us. There is also much we do not want that was always His will for us to have.
Christians are no different from anyone else in being, to some degree, creatures of desire. We hope and pray that our desires are more a function of the “new creature” God has made us than “the old man” whose remains still haunt us but, either way, there is much that we want in this life. It can be no other way for beings who live in an imperfect world in which there is felt need; the strong, seemingly innate sense that we are lacking in some way that must be satisfied. This wanting may manifest itself in conscious or unconscious desire but, either way, I believe it is present in all but perhaps the most mature and, thus, content saints.
The problem is that what we want and what God knows we need is often not the same thing. Looking back on my own 23 years of faith I know that there have been many strong and seemingly reasonable desires in my heart that have not been realized, at least not yet. I also know that there have been things that I did not want in the least that God has seen fit to give me anyway. Like many believers I still wrestle with having complete peace about either of these realities.
What has been comforting in the midst of this struggle is a growing understanding that God really does know what He is doing with me and that he often withholds what I think is needful and allows what I think is not for my own eternal good. It has become increasingly evident to me that the Lord really does “work all things for the good” in my life no matter how bad those things sometimes feel and, make no mistake about it, they sometimes feel awful.
A late counselor of mine once told me that the greatest day in my temporal life would come when I could thank God for even the hardest things I have gone through. At the time I had little faith that I would ever come to such a place as I was still working on the effects of some profound losses I sustained in my past. Yet now, several years later, I am noticing that some of the most meaningful, effective and personally satisfying ministry I am taking part in would be none of those things had I not suffered for many years earlier in my life. Specifically the pain I lived through and, I hope, beyond has given me both the empathy and wisdom I need for the online Christian coaching work I began a few years ago. So it would seem that my counselor was right because, even though I cannot yet honestly say wholeheartedly that I am thankful for all the things I’ve suffered, I know that I am headed in that direction. I never thought I would be able to even say that.
Beyond that I now find myself wondering if in the long run the things I have wanted and received will end up being as precious to me, at least in their effect, as the things I didn’t want and received anyway. The Christian life is full of such paradoxes and this appears to be one of them.
So do not only be careful about what you ask for. Be careful about resisting what you haven’t. The latter may be an even greater gift than the former.